


Reverse Psychology

by Ladytalon



Category: Stargate: SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-09
Updated: 2010-06-09
Packaged: 2017-10-10 00:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/93471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU!Crack for <a href="http://salamas.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://salamas.livejournal.com/"><strong>salamas</strong></a>: Sam wants to go camping.  Baal doesn't.  He'll be going anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reverse Psychology

"Where are you going?"

"You know, politeness dictates that you should _knock_ before barging in here," Sam said. She continued stuffing clothes in her bag without turning around.

"No one ever accused me of being polite," Baal informed her, walking around the bed so that she would have to look at him. He reached out and, before she could stop him, snatched up one of the items she'd piled on the duvet. "Well, now."

Sam glared at him and he immediately looked pleased at having gained her attention, no matter how negative… just like a toddler going through the 'terrible twos' Maybe it struck again after two thousand years. "Give those back."

Baal arched an eyebrow. "So _this_ is what you wear beneath your little SGC costumes," he said, dangling the lacy underwear just out of her reach. "If I'd known, I would have let you catch me much sooner."

He let her take a few swipes at the purloined garment before allowing her to yank it from his hands. "I liked you better when we thought all of you were dead."

"And here I was, bracing myself for a stinging comeback. That was singularly uninspired, Samantha. The aging process is clearly dulling what passes for your wits-"

"You're a fine one to talk about age, Mister Older Than Dirt," she snapped. "Now, was there something in _particular_ you wanted besides never being allowed back in bed with me?"

Baal leaned forward, reaching for her bag. "I want to know where you're going."

Sam slapped his hand back. "None of your business."

"It most certainly is." His eyes moved back to the lacy panties still in her hand. "You don't wear those on your missions."

"No, I don't," Sam said cheerfully. "I'm going camping."

Baal narrowed his eyes. "Wearing those, you're going…_camping_."

Making a show of folding the lingerie in question, Sam threw down the verbal gauntlet. "Aris invited me, actually. You're not _jealous_, aren't you?" she asked innocently.

"Jealous of a muscle-bound, scarred drug addict? Not likely," Baal snorted.

"I didn't think you would be," Sam assured him, noting the sudden tightness of his jaw and the flare of gold surrounding his pupils. "You're far too mature to mind if someone else sees me na- I mean, changing my clothes…"

His eyes narrowed to slits.

She made a show of checking her watch. "Oh wow, I'm running late… I'll tell you all about it when I get back."

Baal pulled her bag towards him, looking positively murderous at the thought of the Ilempiri bounty hunter watching her change. "I will be accompanying you."

"You? Camping?" Sam gave him an amused look. "That I'd pay to see."

She began to list all the things he would hate about camping and though each point was valid, Baal stiffened with indignation until he was practically seething by the time they reached the parking level. Her plan, which was going so smoothly, began to derail when Aris Boch appeared with the medic he'd been courting. "Major," he greeted her with a nod.

"_Colonel_," Sam reminded him out of habit.

"If you say so. Taking your pet snake for a walk?"

"Isn't it time to take your _medicine? _" Baal suggested.

Aris folded his arms across his chest. "I've always wondered if you'd fit into one of the lockers – let's go try it out."

"You will be staying here, away from my Queen," Baal hissed at him.

Aris looked unimpressed. "Or what? Besides, where else _would_ I be going?"

Sam cleared her throat loudly. "We'll just be leaving now."

Baal whipped his head around to look at her. "You were never planning on camping with him," he snapped, then looked annoyed with himself for speaking without regard to his audience.

"Camping? _You?_" Aris roared with laughter. "I would trade _naquidah_ to see that-"

"Jenny, go take him somewhere else," Sam interrupted.

The pretty young medic smiled and slipped her hand around Aris' forearm, tugging him after her. The big man allowed himself to be led away, still laughing and repeating the word 'camping' until the elevator doors closed behind them.

"You could have simply _asked_ me to accompany you," Baal sniffed.

"Would you have said yes?"

"No, but you could have asked nonetheless."

Sam rolled her eyes as she unlocked the trunk of her car, dropping the duffle bag into it. "I don't know why I put up with you. I want to get there before dark, so we should probably leave now…"

"I only agreed to go with you under a specific set of circumstances, which-"

"Do you want to see me in that pair of panties, or don't you?"

"-are still, apparently, valid."

Men, alien symbiotes notwithstanding, really _were_ all alike.

_fin_


End file.
